Inauguration Day
Hi Everyone!
Today is a great day for America!
Inauguration Day 2021 Biden/Harris.
Alex and I read together at night, and last night we had some fun reading "trivia" questions about past presidents. It was interesting...amazing how much of it I already knew. You see, when I was Alex's age, I had a penchant for reading Biographies. On one of my dad's trips, he had bought me an anthology about the Presidents. I believe it went up to George HW Bush...maybe Reagan, but I cannot recall. Either way, I was FASCINATED by the details of the lives of presidents of the past...particularly of the personal lives, personal habits and hobbies and the overall influence of the President's wives. I love the first ladies of America!
During a wonderful visit to upstate New York about two years ago, Jamie and I stayed at the home of my college girlfriend AmyJo and her husband Chuck. Chuck and AJ were wonderful hosts, showing us around the Vassar campus where they both work. Chuck is a newly tenured professor of Russian History and Literature. Then, they took us on a fascinating day-trip to the actual home of FDR which is now a museum and also the burial place of FDR and Mrs. Roosevelt! It was absolutely fascinating.
Anyway, I don't want to enthrall you with my fascination of the people who have passed through the doors of the White House over these past 200 years, and the remarkable situations that have formed us as the people of the United States. I am not a historian after all. I am a spiritualist and a lover of family. The purpose of this blog is to emphasize the process of learning...of growing as a person...of making sacrifices during the time when our children are young and easily influenced. So I turn my focus to my progress with my children at home, particularly my son Alex.
My son has a complex personality...he has a strong defiance within him. It is both nature and upbringing. I cannot change a person's nature. But what I can do- and what I have done and what I am doing, is to use this time to mold the experiences around this child- to help create a more attentive, focused individual who can succeed later in life without the aid of his mother or anyone else. Alex has only been diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), although I feel he may also have Oppositional Defiance Disorder as well. How this(the ADHD component) has always presented in him is that he fidgets, squirms, lacks focus...cannot sit still long enough to endure the "regularness" of classroom days at school. This has a negative impact on his ability to learn valuable information, not just from books and classroom lessons. I am speaking of the social cues easily missed by the inattentive child, that become social awkwardness later in life as an adult.
I was in a deep denial of what it was from the time that Alex entered Kindergarten until he was in the 3rd grade. Those were a lot of lost years for him, and that is my fault.
Today, as a 7th grade student, Alex still struggles with learning. I have faith that he can improve because I see it with my own eyes every single day. I know that I am the best thermometer of his growth because I am constantly with him now...deeply involved.
So what are we doing today to make school better?
I may feel very "out of control" for the most part...but I believe in being the Cause of things in my life and not just accepting the effects. This is a concept from Kabballah which I live by. This week (the past 7 days to be precise), has been a LOT of ups and downs. Let's recreate the time line:
Tuesday January 12, 2020 7pm:
I attended my first Parent-Teacher Organization Meeting for the Warwick Vets PTO. It was a virtual meeting. It was a very short meeting, during which we were directed to see new updates coming from the school that same night.
Earlier on this day, I had my 3rd interview for a part-time leasing job that (up until this PTO meeting the same day) the hours had been a perfect fit for my schedule, the location was ideal, the company seemed great and pay was good.
Wednesday, January 13, 2021
After becoming very interested in the job, I decide that if Alex is to go back to school two days per week and potentially overlap the times I need to work, maybe what I should focus on is getting Annika her Driver's license and a car. After all- she will get off of her afternoon shift at Antonio's at 2pm and he gets out of school at 2:25pm...and get this: Antonio's Bakery (where she works),is literally directly across the street from Alex's school. I cannot make this shit up.
To my amazement, I manage to schedule her permit test for the next day!
Thursday, January 14, 2020
Annika receives her permit. But she really is not ready to drive yet...she needs to get stronger at driving. My husband expresses his concern that we only have one car at the moment and she cannot drive it unless we are with her because if anything happens to our one car, we are going to have bigger problems. I urge him to look for a car for her.
Friday, January 15, 2020
I miss a call from the company that I am interviewing with around 3:15pm. At 4:30pm, I get a phone call from the Warwick Schools informing me that their schedule for the return to school has been published, and that we should all review it. I go to the information and there I learn that the schedule involves 2 days per week of a new extended class day where the kids have all 7 classes (including the 2 electives which he had been exempted from during the first half of the 2nd quarter), and 2 full in-person days. This means that Tuesday and Thursday I need to proctor and tutor him from 8am until 2:30pm instead of 8am to 12pm as before.
WOW.
Just fucking wow.
So now, on top of two full days where he needs to be driven to school -and back by a parent because Warwick is not providing busses, the other two days will also be increased...holding me to being here to keep him on track.
fuck.
I listen to the voicemail from the company that called me...she sounds excited to have me call her back. She ran my background check and I have confirmation from my references that she spoke to them too. We all know what that means. But it's late on Friday. Monday is a holiday (MLKjr day). I decide to take the weekend to digest all of this. I have a funny feeling in my gut but it needs guidance. I reach out to a trusted advisor. Their gut felt it too...
Monday, January 18 2021
I feel very uneasy turning down this job. I know it is my pride. I hate when I have to make choices like these, because I see myself as some kind of superstar who really can do it all. I decide to send a detailed email letting them know that the morning of my last interview, I was feeling sure that I could meet both my home needs and the work needs...but then Friday afternoon I found that to be an insurmountable challenge and a frustrating obstacle. I was honest with them in the email. I am interested in you and I see that you are also interested in me. I hope to keep this door open for the future. That seemed to be a possibility.
Tuesday, January 19 2021
We started our DL school day in a similar way to our usual days with the exception that I spent the first few hours analyzing the new data and schedules, writing the schedules out on our board and communicating with the school staff by phone and email. Alex was reluctant to my request to "sit in" on his classes for the day, but I felt that the best way to fully grasp what was happening was if I heard what the Teachers were saying about it. BOY was my instinct on point! Alex's first class of the day was Social Studies. Mrs. T is not returning to school when they reopen because she is actively being treated for Breast Cancer. Instead, she will have a classroom assistant who will work with the children under her remote guidance. However, I learned more from the hour in her classroom then I would have anywhere else. She seemed to have an unspoken knowing about what type of information would be best to relay to the students, and in this case to me also.
Mrs. T described in detail what to expect upon return to school from the moment of being dropped off until the end of the school day. I listened carefully to what she was saying and wrote a short list of items to follow up on. Here was my list:
1. Mrs. T needs a volunteer to help with delivering photocopied materials to the homes of DL students in Warwick. She has not yet figured out how this will happen.
2. Students will need to be very autonomous such as always having pencils because the school and schoolmates cannot share these.
An idea springs to life in me.
I can volunteer!
I emailed Mrs. T directly after her class and told her that I had been in attendance off camera and that I found her information wonderfully valuable. In exchange for her thoroughness and helpfulness, I would like to take care of the two items (listed above in my blog). She was actually moved to tears...or so she told me, but I believe her. She advised me to reach out to the office/Principal. So I did...I spoke to his assistant about getting my BCI (Background Criminal Investigation) so I can be cleared to volunteer...and also I told them I had another thing I wanted to do.
I had gone onto Amazon.com to get a few school items for Alex such as masks, sanitizer to attach to his backpack, and a lunchbox. I also found top-seal clear plastic pencil pouches (100 for $9.99), so I ordered those as well. I spent my afternoon digging out all of the hundreds (no exaggeration people..I will guess I have 300-400) pencils from around the house. I sat and sharpened these pencils for hours while listening in to Alex's classes. Then I used sanitizer wipes to clean each one and store in a paper bag until my seal-top bags come in tonight. When I get those seal-top bags, I am going to make 2-pack "give-away" pencil bags. This way teachers can just give students what they need and class will not be disrupted when a student fails to come prepared or a pencil tip gets broken.
It is a small thing that I can do. The Administration at the school loved he idea, so I am happy to do it!
My son amazed me by offering a Headset with a microphone to one of his school friends because his friend's broke. We sanitized the back-up headset and after school we delivered it in a sealed Gallon-sized Ziplock. We took Annika for some practice driving and lived to tell about it(only minor injury to the dog who slid from the backseat when she failed to brake in time).
We figured out that it would be a waste of money for us to buy School Lunch and Alex have no appetite for it. This was what led to my buying the lunchbox. So one last task before dinner- I created a two week lunch schedule so I can plan to buy what is needed weekly. Alex does not drink milk and drinks water at night. So I purchased some iced tea for his lunch box and made a modest lunch menu. I will share it here in case anyone reading wants suggestions.
Let me not forget to tell you about "Adventures in Backpacks 101". I found Alex's backpack. It had come home with him on his last day of school in March 2020. We had taken all of the papers out...but back then we used to commute early in the morning and I would prepare food for the children to eat on the drive. Apparently...the last breakfast I packed was Waffles and syrup, in a ceramic mug. I say "apparently" because I discovered a broken mug- shattered actually, and plastered into the pocket of the bag! Alex insisted that I would need to throw it out. BUT...no...I peeled it all out (nearly vomiting at the smell of it), soaked it for an hour and washed/dried and trimmed the fray...and voila! Backpack!
By dinner I was thoroughly exhausted.
Day one was a success...but the full school day did feel very intense. Alex was fidgety and easily anxious. I did get him to eat a half of a sandwich in spite of his meds during lunch...and a slice of pizza for dinner. We did our reading before bed and I could't wait to get some sleep.
This morning it is snowing...Alex and I are taking it easy, doing class from the living room today since yesterday was a lot to deal with.
Tomorrow, his classmates from Group A will be in the building while he attends class from home. Then Friday, Alex will actually get to experience his new school for the first time...IN THE SCHOOL...and also his first time in ANY SCHOOL since March 13, 2020.
Wow. It's a lot to take in.
Annika is continuing to work towards her own independence through work and through gaining a driver's license and a car.
She is eager to be out in the world and doing things.
Jamie is actively pursuing furthering his own education by re-entering college this year.
He had planned to do it this semester (Spring semester), however, his car was stolen and this setback has been affecting many things, including his return to school. I am confident that Fall will be a green light for this goal for him. For now we need a car for him.
As for me, I am finding my way. More on me in my other blog.
Lilac
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