Late Morning on Monday picked up nicely when Alex came out of his shower.  
He took a moment to express that it was nice having me home.  I agreed...it was nice.  

He came out and dressed and fussed over his hair for a long time.  He really wants a haircut but there is simply no time for it today...however it is on my list for later this week. Alex dove into some assignments, choosing to enter Google Classroom and go to any available assignment, and complete it.  I asked him a few times to document what assignments he was working on.  I am trying not to hover.   

At 11:28am, Katie Campbell emailed from the school, and Alex went into a Meet with her.  She is super helpful, and she gave Alex an update on how the school runs.  At this Meet, Alex was introduced to another 7th grader who is new to Vets.  His name is Evan and he came from St. Rose of Lima School, so he is a transfer like Alex.  Evan had a very confident and outgoing energy from the brief observations I was able to make over Alex's shoulder (trying not to hover).

After the Meet- it was a PROFOUND CHANGE in Alex.  Profound.  Day One...major change.  I am overwhelmed with happiness about it honestly.

So after he left that Meet, it was a little past noon.  Annika and I were eating some lunch at the table and Alex had no appetite (the meds)...but I decided to ask him how he was doing on the assignments because you know:  AMAZON BUCKS.  So I review the goals and suddenly Alex interrupts me with the following statement:

"Mom... I AM motivated.  In fact, let's forget the Amazon bucks and talk about how I can earn back my Video Game Controllers.".

I am momentarily taken back because I didn't have the full authority to negotiate the game controllers.

"What's this all about Lex?", I ask.

"Well...Mrs. Campbell introduced me to a kid named Evan and she asked what we had in common.  We both like to play video games, so she recommended we do that together online.  I REALLY want to do that...so what can I do to get those Game Controllers?".

SO let me translate for anyone out there who is wondering why this is so profound.

A year ago, when we bought this house, Alex started to lose friendships.  He no longer had his group of friends from the apartment complex or the old neighborhood.  Alex used to play outside for hours with the neighborhood kids...coming in when the streetlights went on.  At school, Alex had friends.  He misses his friends.

Towards the end of that school year- March 2020, we all went into quarantine here and we don't know many people in this neighborhood yet.  Most of our neighbors are very friendly and approachable, but it does take time during a Pandemic to actually build new relationships.  One neighbor nearly died of Covid-19...his children are traumatized by the expereince and they are a family in CRISIS.  Another neighbor had to quarantine himself in his camper because he was in close contact with a family member who had Covid.  So we have been VERY CAREFUL around here.

As a result, Alex and Ani and Jamie and I have been the closest contact we have all had...and especially Alex, has had very little other outside contact.  He has a good friend named Juliette, and his nephew who is actually a little older than him who is a good friend too.  Alex has made little effort to reach out to friends he actually cares about...it's probably part of the ADHD.

Anyway, to see him become DRIVEN to connect with another kid was so beautiful to me.  It literally made everything I am doing worth while to me.  Relationships are really important and I am seeing first hand exactly how true that is.  When I was a child I was often removed from social circles due to family issues that were beyond my control.  Although it hurt me deeply, I internalized it and this caused a LOT of inner trauma to me as a child that I had to "sort out" later in life.  But since I am wise to it...I would love to see my kids start their lives without that kind of baggage of trauma.

Well, enough about friendships...They are so important as children grow.  It's so important that they have contact with peers...its cute how kids see other kids and get excited, "Another kid to play with!".  I never look at adults and think that...LOL.

Speaking of friends...last night we went to a funeral service for the father of a friend of Annika's from school.  It's sad to see her friend suffer.  He is 19 and has lost his very young dad.  The kids put on some nice clothes and paid respects and did what we could to bring some joy to a truly sad event.  Pictures below:



Alex ALWAYS HAS TO RING THE DOORBELL.
This makes me stressed, but what can I do.
Back to the work at hand...more tomorrow.

~Namaste

Lilac





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