DAY 8/ Week 2: HUMP DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

 

AUTUMN ON THE EAST COAST IS MAJESTIC-COLORFUL- HARMONIOUS NATURE

I am enjoying all of the beautiful "Autumn leaves and trees" photos that friends are posting on Facebook.  Every time someone posts a picture of where they are and what they see, I feel like I am magically transformed into being right there by their side- staring at the same scene and taking in the fragrant aroma of the dried fallen leaves and the cool October air.  

Autumn is a magical time of year in New England.

I had no idea that I would be "back at home" for a stretch this year.  2020 has been abundant with surprises, and I am sure everyone can agree on that.  I have not seen many of my friends nor my family members in a rather long time aside from online.  My immediate family and I have seen ALOT of each other.  It's hard to imagine what would be different right now if not for Covid-19 and the impact on our outside work due to this Pandemic.

Somehow, I still feel that excitement as we ebb ever closer to Halloween- it's like a proverbial "Christmas Miracle" feeling but during the Spooky Season!  

It feels like the true meaning of Halloween is highlighted...taking away the outside things that are not the true meaning like costumes and candies and parties.  It may be difficult for some people to realize or grasp that Halloween is a holiday for some of us...it has a spiritual meaning that has nothing to do with the common worldview of it.  Some of us are gathering together with our own small tribes at home to actually usher in with gratitude that day of the year when the veil between realms of reality is so thin that you can just about speak to the dead!

The thin veil between us and them is also a signal of the circular nature of life- the cycle of life and then death and rebirth and life again.  It is symbolic of the seasons themselves.  It is no wonder Autumn is the time of year that we are most closely connected with those possibilities and so we celebrate by hiding ourselves behind masks and alter egos because for a short time...we can BE anyone, Do things we do not normally allow ourselves to do.  Also... witches will do anything for some chocolate.  Just saying.

Ok, ok, enough about my opinion...when did this blog become that?  

I have been observing Alex for about 1.5 weeks now as we work together at home.  He has become a much better student already.  I am a BIG believer in the art of repetition to form habits.  I KNOW that it will take several weeks of this pattern to establish what could eventually take off as good habits.  However, I plan to give this more time than that to sink in because my child's success is of the utmost importance to me and I have come to accept my fate, whatever it might be, with regards to a job/career/etc...I have made my decision and I am actually feeling very proud of it.  

What I am saying is that as I reflect on the difficulty that this choice had been...I realize that my fears about losing my job if I were to prioritize my child's educational needs over said job...well, those fears were just meritless.  What could I gain by trying to satisfy an employer who would wish harm on me for helping my family?  Bottom line...we will know their true feelings about it all AFTER THE FACT and we will address it then.  NOT NOW.  Later...I am staying in the present, and the present is hard enough, so I'm okay with my system.

We cannot worry about the future...future events or too far "down the line".  Haven't we ALL learned this during the current Pandemic?  

I mean...ok, let's go back a ways.   

Picture it:  January.  2020.

The world was full of hope for the future.  I personally was strategizing heavily on how I would get my daughter into the BEST college and how we would pay for it...but primarily we were focusing on the acceptances and on her grades as a Senior.  She was focused primarily on Senior Year activities and her grades.  Alex was coping with the difficulties of his school commute and I was getting up early to drive them from our new neighborhood, back to their West Warwick Schools;  drop them off and then drive to Connecticut for my job.  The kids would commute home by bus and I would see them around 6pm.  So basically 12 hour days when you factor commuting, working and commuting home again.  10 hours for the kids but 12 hours for me.

Anyway, in March, that whole schedule changed a lot.

Fast forward to now...we are just USED TO CHANGE now.  Can we shop?  Do we need a mask?  How many people can be in the store at once?  Will this take 30 minutes of an hour for this errand?  I better factor in  a buffer of time.  I mean...we are experts now!  I mean, I feel I am.  I know what to do if I run out of toilet paper.  Do you??

So my point in all of this is that, WHEN I was on my job and trying to decide if I should take a Leave of Absence, I had no one to consult with who could advise me well.  However, when I hit the BREAKING POINT, I had to decide.  I was at a standoff.  So on the other side of this choice, there is a completely DIFFERENT perspective!  On the one hand, I am a professional.  I have a career.  I am a skilled worker, and I have a high earning potential.  On the other hand, I am the glue that holds my family together and I possess a skill set with regards to home management that no one else in the household has.

WHICH of these...

is

more

valuable  ?

In order to answer the question, one would need to assess their own value system.  And there my friends...there is the greatest battlefield ever found.  For me, I would have a great deal of trouble figuring out how to decide where I belonged.  Ultimately, I went where I believed I would do the greatest good, be the most appreciated and find the most satisfaction.  My only fears being how we would survive a loss of income and how my employer might potentially treat me upon my return.  The latter I could postpone until sometime closer to January.  But the income issue- I had a plan for that the day I left my job...

I had decided that if my husband could work a part time job, I should try it.  Especially since I was going to have to sacrifice the daytime job (temporarily), I should be able to handle some night work.  I had been toying with the idea for quite a while already anyway, due to the kids seeming to need me more than ever once the Pandemic started.

Everything became a lot easier and clearer once I started to have Reiki Treatments with Kathy.  Then I received my Reiki Practitioner Certification and started to feel more connected with my personal success and my true path.  It is very important for all people to seek out individuals who can help them grow and develop their talents.  Kathy has been that for me.

This leg of my transition began during August of this year...as we approached the start of Fall and school. From May to August I was very focused on learning my new job and getting settled into a new workplace.  But in mid-August, I came face to face with the upcoming difficulties of how we would manage school beginning mid-September. I guess it took me two months to figure it out, but here we are.  And honestly...I made the right choice.

~Namaste

Lilac